Remember that a child is a gift from God, the richest of all blessings. Do not try to mold him in the image of yourself, your father, your mother, your brother or your neighbor. Each child is an individual and should be permitted to be himself.
Don’t crush a child’s spirit when he fails. And never compare him with others who have done better. Remember that anger and hostility are natural emotions. Help your child find socially acceptable outlets for these feelings, or they may be turned inward and create physical or emotional problems.
Discipline your child with firmness and reason. Don’t let your anger throw you off balance. If he knows you are fair, he will not lose his respect or his love for you. Make sure the punishment fits “the crime.” Even the youngest of children has a keen sense of justice. And make sure you and your spouse maintain a united front. Never join with your child against your husband or your wife. This creates emotional conflict and generates destructive feelings of guilt, confusion and insecurity.
Do not give your child everything his little heart desires. Instead, show him how to attain it on his own. Allow him to know the thrill that comes from earning something. Do not deny him the greatest pleasure of all, the satisfaction that comes with self-achievement, the knowledge he deserves what he has.
Do not set yourself up as a model of perfection. You will find it easier to communicate with your child if he knows that Mom and Pop can make mistakes, too.
Don’t make threats in anger or glowing promises when you are in a generous mood. Threaten or promise only what you can deliver, and then make sure that you do so. To a child, a parent’s word means everything. If he loses his faith in hi parents, he will have difficulty believing in anything.
On the other hand, don not smother your child with gifts and lavish surprises. The purest and the healthiest love expresses itself in discipline day-in, day-out. Consistency builds self-confidence, trust and a strong base for character development.
Teach your child that there is dignity in hard work, whether it is performed with a shovel or with delicate fingers that hold surgical instruments or push computer keys. Let him know that a useful life is a rewarding one and pleasure-seeking is empty and meaningless.
Do not try to protect your child against every blow and disappointment. Allow him to get his lumps when they come. Adversity strengthens character and creates compassion. Trouble is the great equalizer, the common denominator of living. He is bound to have some trouble in his life. He must learn how to handle it.
