Proper Table Manners: 
      Nowhere is a lack of training more quickly betrayed than at the table.  Below are the ten most common faux pas in social dining and how you can avoid them!

1.  Which is my water, bread plate, napkin???    

If you remember: liquids on the right, solids on the left, you’ll never eat someone else’s bread again!  That’s your coffee cup to the right of the plate, and your bread plate on the left!  Your napkin is always placed somewhere within your dining territorial borders.

2.  As soon as you are seated, unfold your napkin and place it on your lap.  The napkin remains on your lap (except for use) until the end of the meal.  That’s when the diners are leaving the table, not just when you finish!

If you need to leave the table temporarily, you may leave the napkin in your chair as a signal to the waiter that you will be returning. This is also a consideration for the other diners who won't have to look at your soiled napkin on the table!

Use your napkin before drinking from a glass or cup.

At the conclusion of the meal, place your napkin partly folded, never crumpled, at the left of your plate.  Even a paper napkin should never be crushed and tossed into your plate.  

3.  The Place Setting:  The first and only utensil was the dagger, that same threatening symbol of violence that you carried with you for defense!  The prevention of violence was one of the principal aims of table manners.  So there are some serious restrictions regarding knives at the table. The knife is never pointed at anyone.

A blade pointed outward is a sign that you wish the person across from you harm!!  Richelieu was responsible for the rounding off of the points on table knife blades in 1669 France in order to prevent further dinnertime bloodshed.

The traditional place setting has the forks on the left side and knives (always turned inward facing the plate) and spoons on the right side.  The silver is placed in order of use so that you can follow the rule “begin at the outside and work in” towards the plate!



Formal Dinner Place Setting

1.  Napkin
2.  Fish Fork

3.  Main Course Fork

4.  Salad Fork

5.  Soup Bowl and   Plate
6.  Dinner Plate
7.  Dinner Knife

8.  Fish Knife

9.  Soup Spoon

10. Bread and Butter Plate
11. Butter Knife
12. Desert silverware

13. Water Glass

14. Red Wine Glass

15. White Wine Glass


The butter knife (#11), used only for spreading butter, should be already on your bread plate.

Dessert spoons/forks (#12) are usually brought in with the dessert, but often the dessert silver is placed above the dinner plate.  The origin of the term dessert is from the French “desservie” meaning to de-serve or clear the table.  Dessert was intended to clear the palate.

4.  No Oars!  Once silverware is picked up from the table it NEVER touches the table again.  Place it on the outer rim of the plate between bites, but never rest silver gangplank fashion, half on the table and half on the plate.

5.   When to Start – in gatherings of six or less people, begin eating only after everyone is served.  For larger groups, such as banquets, it is customary to start eating after four or five people have been served, or permission is granted from those not yet served.

6. Bread and rolls are broken off into bite-size pieces (why do you think they call meals, breaking bread!!!) and butter is spread on each bite as you eat it.  Never use a knife to cut the bread, nor butter a whole slice at once!

Butter should be taken when passed, and placed onto your bread plate, never directly onto your bread.

7.   Dishes are passed from left to right.  When a waiter serves you, food will be presented on your left, and the dish will be removed from your right side when you’ve finished.

8.  Salt and pepper are always passed together, even if someone asks you only for the salt.  They are considered “married” in proper dining circles.

9.  Hold a stemmed glass by the stem!  This is to prevent chilled drinks, such as white wine from becoming warmed by your hand, but it holds for non-chilled drinks as well.

10.   The finish – when you are finished with each course your knife (blade turned inward) and fork should be placed beside each other on the plate diagonally from upper left to lower right (11 to 5 if you imagine your plate as a clock face).  This is a signal to the waiter that you are finished.  And don’t push your plate away or otherwise rearrange your dishes from their position when you are finished.